Boundaries: Can Someone Find It Hard To Say No When They Feel Worthless?
If one doesn’t want to do something, they might listen to what is taking place with them and speak up. However, there is also the chance that they will ignore what is taking place within them and simply go along with what someone else wants.
A Different Experience
When it relates to the former, one is going to have a good connection with what is taking place within them. In addition to this, they will also feel safe enough to listen to what is taking place there.
Yet, when it comes to the latter, they might not even be aware of what is taking place within them. But even if they are aware, they are not going to feel safe enough to pay attention to what is going on there.
Point of Focus
When one is in touch with themselves and they feel safe enough to listen to the information that is within them, they are not going to be completely focused on what is taking place externally. One will be able to pay attention to their inner world and their outer world.
On the other hand, when one doesn’t feel safe enough to listen to the information that is within them, they can end up being completely consumed by what is taking place externally. It can then be normal for them to only pay attention to what is taking place in their outer world.
What is clear is that they are the only person who will know what is right for them; the people around them are not going to know. Even so, this is not to say that other people will always realise this.
There are plenty of people in the world who are only too happy to tell other people what to do. Therefore, when one goes along with what other people want, they are going to miss out on the guidance that is within them.
When this happens, one will be behaving as though they are simply an extension of other people. Their actions will be the result for what other people want them to do, or what they think they want them to do.
This is likely to be what feels comfortable and so there will be no reason for them to change their behaviour. But if they were able to get in touch with how they feel, they might soon come into contact with a lot of pain.
If the people around them were to find out about how they feel, they could be in for a shock. This is because one could come across as happy and easy going, and this is going stop how they feel from coming to the surface when they are around others.
Or, if they were to get worked up and to express how they really feel, they could end up feeling bad. Through feeling this way, they will soon go back to how they were before, and it might be little while before they lose it again.
A Number of Outcomes
When one has the tendency to do what other people want, there may be moments when this doesn’t cause them to be walked over. Yet, as this is likely to be something that rarely takes place, it might not matter.
The moments when they have been taken advantage of are going to be the moments that fill their mind. This may mean that there have been times when they have been physically harmed and/or they may have been verbally abused on a number of occasions.
If one was to think about what their life is like at this point in time, they may find that they are in a relationship with someone who walks over them. Along with this, they might work with people who also behave in the same way.
It might not stop there though, as one could find that their family treat them in the same way. One is then going to be surrounded by people who don’t respect their boundaries, and this is going to make it hard for them to feel good about themselves.
One way of looking at this would be to say that one has gradually be worn down by the people in their life, and this is why they are unable to say no and to stand their ground. Based on this, the only way their life is going to change is if the people in their life start to respect their boundaries.
Another way of looking at this would be you say that they already felt worthless, and this is why they ended up coming into contact with these kinds of people. What will also support this outlook is if they are treated badly by their family.
Where it All Began
What took place when they were younger may have set them up to feel comfortable with being walked over. During this time, they may have been abused and/or neglected, and this would have caused them to feel worthless.
And through being treated in this way, it may have caused them to disconnect from their aggression. So not only will they feel as though they deserve to be walked over; they won’t have the energy they need to do anything about it.
In order for one to change their life, they will need to get in touch with their inherent value and to embrace their aggression. Once this has taken place, they won’t feel comfortable being walked over and, if someone tries to do so, they will have the strength that they need to do something about it.
This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
Source by Oliver JR Cooper